It's Been a While

I want to start this post off with an apology for not posting for such a long time. These past few months have been hectic. I've finally got the hang of things at school, I've successfully ordered delivery, and I'm finally starting to study Slovak. I'm about a fluent as a dog to be honest. It's a very complicated language and with my time here quickly fading, I fight with myself over the effort being worth it at all.
In a sad bit of news, the only decent grocery store within walking distance to my house, a retro 4 story Tesco, which has a conveyor-belt for shopping carts to the dry food/alcohol/snacks in the basement (my favorite section), is being converted into businesses. I will dearly miss the convenience of being able to read the labels on items (as Tesco is a British store, so the store-brand is in English), and being able to buy Ben and Jerry's ice cream when I am really feeling homesick. I'd buy it more often but it is about double the price it is back home.

I am sitting here writing in my office during what would usually be the middle of a busy school day. However, today is the day of the written Maturita. The graduation exams for the 5th year students. So about 95 percent of the students are off campus today doing various field trips, while the graduating students sit and wait to begin the test. They look so nervous. The custom here is to dress up for these tests, so all of the students look like they are going into the biggest job interviews of their lives, wearing gorgeous coats and bow ties, carrying cakes, and giving each other good luck handshakes. To my surprise they aren't walking around with stacks of books and downing cup after cup of iced coffee. That isn't much of a cultural norm here. They have their one cup at home and it's done. It's so strong here they really never need more than one.

The coffee here is much more refined than American coffee in my opinion. Not in the way it is brewed, but in the way it is served. This is not a culture of 'venti caramel macchiato frapps with extra whip', or whatever that awful Unicorn thing is. The coffee here is served to you the same way they'd serve a dessert in a fine restaurant. The quantity is conservative, but it is presented very elegantly. Almost always in a clear glass, with layers of coffee, cream, etc., and a small shot-glass of water on the side of a gorgeous silver platter. With most coffee you will also get a variety of sugar and a small cookie on the side. It would never be larger than a size small in the States. Looking back I don't see why we need those almost liter-sized coffees, which are honestly just a milkshake with an optional coffee flavor. I don't see myself going back to the American ideal of coffee. The way they do it here is exactly the way I like it. Maybe if you visit me when I come back I will make one for you!

Like the coffee, the food in general here is much less gimmicky and consumer-oriented than in America, They don't create a new flavor of cereal or candy or soda every few months to keep people buying, They trust that people will buy what they want and need, and that they will always have a customer buying corn flakes and orange Fanta. They don't need to add apple flavor or make the bag supersized to keep people buying. They also don't add nearly the same amount of preservatives as they do back home. I was shocked when I came here how fast the bread and meat here goes bad. Bread lasts 4 days if I'm lucky, chicken has 2 to 3 days. I don't know everyone's ideas of food-safety or freshness within their own homes, but I was very inconvenienced by this. At first I was upset about it because I barely had anything left to eat half-way through the week because I only went to the store on Sundays. But I learned that in a place where food doesn't last as long, I have to go much more often. It has been a great lesson in budgeting, shopping for the right quantities, and I'm buying only what I need and I know I can eat.

If you've kept an eye on my Facebook you might have noticed I haven't been traveling much lately. I haven't gone anywhere since I've come back from my Christmas trip with my mom. There is a lot behind that. I think the biggest reason is that after my negative experience in the Berlin train station, I really get anxious at the thought of travelling alone. I thought my fears would subside as time passed, but it seems lately that the more I go outside my comfort zone in the city, the more incidents I have with creepy-drunken middle-aged men.

 Just this weekend I decided that I was sick of being hold up in my apartment, so I took my Slovak study guide and stopped in the park after a quick trip to the store. I just sat there reading and this man came up to me and pestered me with question after question in Slovak. I showed him my study guide, and explained that I didn't know what he was saying, hoping he would leave me alone. But each time he would stumble off he would turn back around in his urine and beer stained sweatsuit and pester me again. I was visibly agitated and was looking for  a way to get him to leave, or for me to escape, but he was blocking my only way home and he was a really big man. At one point he sat next to me and touched all of my bags, asking me something about them. Finally I just ignored him. He got up, came over to me and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a very uncomfortable hug and sat right back down next to me. Then a young guy walked by and the man stopped him to get him to translate for him. Desperate, I told him I had no idea who this man was, I didn't want him talking to me, and if he would please help me get away from him. I was very lucky that the guy spoke English. The drunken man apparently wanted cigarettes from me (although I don't smoke), then he wanted to buy the flowers I had in my bag. It was bizarre. I asked of the man would walk with me to the end of the street so I could get away from the drunk man, and he was happy to help. I found out he was a graduating doctoral student at the local University from Greece. He told me that these guys come up and harass people all the time. Unfortunately I already knew that as it's happened to me quite a few times before.
It is very very frustrating to be subjected to these creepy drunken men so frequently in public. It was noon on a Sunday, I was sitting on a bench in the park with a book. It wasn't midnight, I was three blocks from my house. This shouldn't happen. I don't know if it was my gender, age, or the fact that I was alone that made it the scariest. But honestly each time this happens my life flashes before my eyes and I think I'm going to get seriously hurt or die. I live in a nice part of town, in a gated building. I hate the idea that that is the only place I might be safe. I want to explore my city, my country. But is it worth it? It's infuriating to me that I'm not even sure. I'm in Europe, I'm young, I have holidays and long weekends when I should be out exploring. But for the most part I don't even want to anymore, I get too much anxiety and don't want to waste the money. Sometimes I feel like I'm being a coward, but am I really? If I can't explore my own city without being harassed and fearful for my life, what awaits me in the rest of the world? I don't even like to think about it. Maybe I will just wait until next time when someone is with me.

Not much else is happening here. I've announced to my students that this will be my only year here, and that I will be returning home to Texas in July. Quite a few of them are pretty upset about it. I struggled a lot with the idea of staying at least another year here. I like my co-workers, my students. the city. But my friends and family want me home, and I am starting to see a clear path into my future. Getting a job, an apartment, a dog. It's something I don't want to wait for. So I will do my best to learn and grow my absolute most while I'm still here, that way I will have even more to share when I come home.